That’s what a friend told me after I told her that Life threw a curve ball. And some days, I have to gear way down and chant that mantra in my head over and over again. It’s so easy to get caught up in the whirlwind of emotions and feelings of yourself and everyone around you. Guilt and anger are typically my go-to feelings which really are the masks for fear and sadness. It’s also easy for me to get caught up in DOING to avoid BEING. Cause in times like these BEING can be so very scary. I literally have this feeling inside of revving up an engine and putting the pedal to the metal to race through a gazillion things and any obstacle that pops up I just run over with frustration. This is how I have dealt with difficult things in the past and let me tell you, it can be costly.
No more. You see, I’ve been doing a lot of internal work since my Dad passed in 2008. It has been quite the journey. I really started simplifying back then. It started with friendships, MNOs, a book club. I tuned in to what was going on inside and what didn’t feel right, I eliminated. I drive people nuts because I always RSVP as a maybe cause I may be feeling it at the time of the invite and then when the time comes, not so much. I may be under resourced and over scheduled. It has nothing to do with “a better offer” it has to do with tuning in and listening to what I need. Self care.
Then I started simplifying with the STUFF. ‘Cause visual chaos caused internal chaos and when life gets chaotic (which it inevitably does), the go-to feelings come and revved up engine roars. In the past I organized the STUFF. I finally realized that organizing was typically temporary. Inevitably the STUFF would be everywhere again. AND I couldn’t find what I needed which would cause either A) me to go into a tail spin or B) send me to the store to spend unnecessary money. Both costing me time. Which is valuable. Really, who wants to spend their time with all that icky stuff anyway. Let’s not forget time spent organizing, managing, cleaning, or giving up and spending time with resentment and more anger. Not to leave out how exhausting all of that business is which again is sucking up precious time. Again, tuning in to what I need. Self care.
So here I am now, at home plate receiving that curve ball and I’m noticing that I’m ready for it. I’m scared, I’m sad. I still get mad and feel guilt but instead of getting stuck in it by revving up those engines and DOING, I BE with those and ride the waves which then allows the true feelings to come and then I ride those waves. Guess what? I’m still alive after riding those waves. Nothing earth crushing has happened. Better yet, I feel better, stronger, braver, grounded, capable and nurtured. I tune in. I’m more patient with myself and others than I used to be in these situations. I’m asking for help, I’m taking time for myself. I’m going to yoga, I joined weight watchers to force myself to take care of my body (because eating can be another way to DO rather than BE). To keep me tuned in. No guilt. I talk, I don’t talk. Depends on what I need. I go out and visit or I stay home. It depends on what I need. I listen and when I start to hear the engine rev, I pause and evaluate what I need. Sometimes I let the engine rev to plow through certain things but I know when to stop. Self care.
I owe being where I am to Simplifying. Turning down all the noise from STUFF whether it be physical STUFF, schedule STUFF, or internal STUFF has helped me tune in. It has been preparing me for Life’s big curve balls. I can slow down, I can listen, I can be where I need to be when I need to be there. I can fill up even when Life is draining my tank. I allow myself self care so I can care for my people.
Simplifying is so much more than decluttering and de-owning STUFF. It’s part of taking care of yourself and your loved ones. It’s about thriving in Life rather than just surviving. It’s about being able to respond to Life’s curve balls rather than react to them.
Keeping it Simple.